Mary Muffin

and I need help deciding on my costume. I've narrowed it down to the following 3. Input would be greatly appreciated!

First we have from the Unhappily Every After series... Helle's Belle...

Second we have Lilly Munster...

and Third we have a ghastly ghoul...

So help me! I'd love to get all three and then I'd have the next 3 Halloween's set but unfortunately I can't afford that... I LOVE Halloween though and can't wait to dress up!

i am no longer socializing with people from work. i really don't need that crap in my life. if i wanted immature gossip type stuff i'd hang out with high schoolers. maybe when everyone decides they can grow up just a bit i'll change my mind. and no this does not apply to EVERYONE i work with, but most. there's a few exceptions. i do strongly feel that what happens in MY life is MY business and NO ONE elses. if i had wanted you to know what was going on i would have informed you myself.

on a second note... why do i always have to fall for boys who have no interest in me? i've been told that "that's how it always is" but no one else around me seems to have that problem.

but yeah... anyways on to happy stuff... amberly visited today! i love her! and she's coming down for her space holiday in two weeks as well. i'm excited. hopefully nicole will come too. if they both come all i have to say is... poor geoff. haha. amberly and i went to lunch at olive garden then to target. first off we should NEVER shop together. i bought a new purse and wallet. both of which i actually needed since my favorite purse broke and i had to throw it away. the zipper on my wallet broke as well. and the purse was on clearance. (rationalizing, something i'm very good at) i also got the third season of sex and the city. so yeah... now i'm gonna go watch that and hope that i find something to do tonight that doesnt involve going the matador but i doubt that.

I'm as blue
I'm as blue as the ocean is true, it's just refelctions of the sky
I'm as cold
I'm as cold as the stories you told but never sick enough to die

Note to self: don't change for anyone
Note to self: don't die
Note to self: don't change for anyone
Don't change, just lie

I'm as sick
I'm as crass as the things in your past, you wished that you could let them go
Caged birds
Caged animals starving for class
In your house when you're alone

Note to self: don't change for anyone
Note to self: don't die
Note to self: don't change for anyone
Don't change, just lie

Who do you call when you're alone
Nobody, baby
Who do you want to be, figure out and just let me know
Don't change, don't change, don't change
Just let me go
Just let me go
Just let me go

.....................................................

i dont really think i have much else to say today.

so all i've been doing is hanging out at the matador. i've decided that last night was the last night for a while. i need a break. i need to pay more attention to work, sleep, taking care of myself... those type of things.

all in all the past couple days have been interesting. hung out with shaun yesterday. went to the sandy river. that was super fun. i like it there. i'm gonna have to go back before this weather turns crappy. (and as i type this the sun disappears ugh). then last night was kinda not fun. i'm getting better at darts. still havent won a game since i beat donnie, but i came close the other night. then i lost horrible last night. it just wasnt a fun night at the bar. i tried to leave but shaun threw a bit of a weird temper tantrum (even though he'd never admit it and thats why this lil comment will be edited out from the myspace version just in case he reads it. his temper is a bit scary. lots of built up aggression and anger.) he's a cool dude though from baltimore. its kinda funny... he dated a girl in seattle when he was still living out there, so we had some similar experiences and such. just switched around. i ended up with a fat lip as a reminder of last night. not going to go into details but its not that bad. not like my lip needs to be any more swollen. we hung out at beccas after the bar closed with eric and conan. eric threw his cig down on someone. that was when that lil bit of the party ended and we all went our seperate ways. pretty much thats all my days have consisted of.

so now i'm going to try to focus on other things. such as on thursday i spent 3 hours at powells (and 100.00) on all types of books. i got something on the rwandan genocide, mrs. pigglewiggle, nancy drew, the history of murder (as suggested by donnie), and a book on the history of the burka. should make for a month of interesting reading.

also i think i'm going to try to find a new job. i'm just sick of my job. i want something that isn't as stressful or demanding. i want a bs job. i'm gonna look around downtown in the next few weeks and see if i can find anything. after all i'm moving down there in october. its gonna be so fun. plus if i sell my car, i wouldn't really have to buy a new one if i worked and lived downtown. i'd just buy a bike and make my dad come visit me.

anyways... its about time i start doing things that have to be done. i get to go to pier one and pick up new incense! and then grocery shopping. i think all i have in my fridge is beer. and i dont need that. i've started to get a bit of a beer belly. if i could just find a guy that appreciates it. haha.

i know its not true... but i cant help to feel worthless.

i want one person that after nights like last night i can call them up and i dont have to spend the night alone.

i want one person that i can just go walks with for hours and talk about everything and feel that conversation has made everything better. even if its only for the day.

last night i told becca i might give it another 6 months here. then i realized i dont have true friends here. all i have are beer drinking aquaintences. which is not what i need or what i truly want.

i get myself into some shitty situations sometimes. and they're always ones that can be avoided. but you never really expect someone to still be in love with you. now do you?

my last few journal entries have to do with drinking. talked to jerry today and hes cutting back. and i agreed to do the same. until we hang out on saturday. heh. i forgot i told casey i'd go to some show on saturday night. i think its saturday at loveland. engine down. i'll probably do both. if its all ages i bet it ends early. gotta live it up my last few weeks in this city. then i get to be with amberly and terrorize seattle in a drunken haze. have i mentioned i LOVE my life. tomorrow is cody's show in longview. i'm excited to go. i don't even mind the drive. hopefully steve will meet me there. then thursday hangin out with mike... gotta get the car tuned up as well. its gonna be a busy day off. my last few days will fly pretty fast. everyone at work is sad to see me go but eh gotta do it. i'll miss victor the most. hes like the older bro i never had. gotta find cable for amberly so we can embarrass alex now. oh yeah and dinner sounds good too.

i was feeling vicious tonight so this conversation occurred... its not my best work, but its still funny. hell, his sn was funny all by itself.

pimpalicious980: hey ask'
pimpalicious980: asl
me: profile. unless you cant read
pimpalicious980: 21
me: that took you a really long time to read that.
pimpalicious980: no it didint
me: ok...
me: its ok if yer a lil slow. i have all night
pimpalicious980: lol
pimpalicious980: im 18 m wa
me: yeah i know. unlike some people i read profiles
pimpalicious980: ok sorry
pimpalicious980: so whats up?
me: nothing much
pimpalicious980: me ethier lol
me: are you really laughing out loud?
pimpalicious980: yes
pimpalicious980: so
me: what was funny about that?
pimpalicious980: do you have a bf
pimpalicious980: i dont know
me: why do you need to know if i have a boyfriend? you think you'd actually have a chance?
pimpalicious980: probaly not
pimpalicious980: no girl would go out wih me
me: but you're pimpalicious... wouldnt that be false advertising?
pimpalicious980: and im sure your one of the,
pimpalicious980: girls that would say no
pimpalicious980: turn guys like me down
me: guys like you? what does that mean? please, do explain
pimpalicious980: ok
pimpalicious980: girls dont like me
me: whats wrong with you?
pimpalicious980: because of looks
me: well thats true, you arent much to look at, but dont you at least have a good personality to make up for it?
pimpalicious980: or if they do it will be to use me
pimpalicious980: yeah
me: that last line made no sense.
pimpalicious980: fuck it ok
pimpalicious980: i dont give a shit
me: would you like to borrow a gun?
me: i think you do give a shit. or you wouldnt be "pimpalicious" online
pimpalicious980: i have stress because i have heart surgery coming up
pimpalicious980: and you know
me: what does that have to do with girls?
pimpalicious980: that brings a person down
me: well only if you dont look at the brighter side of things.
pimpalicious980: well whatever
pimpalicious980: your the meanist bitch i ever made
pimpalicious980: met
me: why thank you darlin.
pimpalicious980: any time
pimpalicious980: ok whatever
pimpalicious980: bye bitch

so i just read my drunken journal entry from last night. oh my god. i do remember all of it. including the drunken sex convo w/jim. haha oh my. but yeah... i also remember now that i didnt close that window on becca's comp so she'll probably get to read it too. at least i'm honest when i'm drunk. i also find it slightly amazing that according to my blog stats that 14 people have read my entries today. wow. i really should be cleaning the apt. its dirty. i already cleaned the dog room. now i just have to do the cat box, the sink, the living room, and take out the trash. oh joy. oooh and just found out erik has a present for me! yay! i like presents. hehe. then again who doesnt. ok... well back to cleaning or "paying bills" on the internet. haha

went back hom eto portland tonight. now i'm drunk at becca's apt above the matador. i got my hot make out session. mmmm jerry, hes suich a good kisser. he kept asking were the creepy guy was ( eddie) and i kept saying he wasnt there. i got kissed at the matador, and then at tonys and then we came up to beccas apot. jerry + vodka tonics = veruy happy mary. ran into conan and eric played a game of darts bvut left when i ran into jerry at teh bar. mmmm vodka.. yeah anyways... jerry = hot. met him like a month ago but i just keep running into him at the bar and eddie kept scasring him off because hes creepy. even donny thinks he was creepy but in his words its a "good way" whatevert the hell that means. wow... 7 vodka tonics later and layig on beccas living room floor after one hot kissing session with jerry i'm a happy girl. yay i'm s glad i came home tonight. no shame about missing the miami vice party. woot. haha. so yea. jerry = hot. mmmm. never would have guessed hes 33. looks about 25. but thats ok. hes hot. i'm hot. hes a good kisser. i'm an awesome kisser. and yeah i got that hot make out session i've wanted. even though it was standing u[ in becca's kitchen while drinking pbr., yay beer and vodka tnics. ok time to pass out. woot.

so yesterday while shopping in american apparel for something to wear out, a girl invited us to a miami vice party. now amberly and i can not resist this so of course we're going tonight. we have to wear pastels.

on other news... last night was fun. started out at lindas. chris showed up, alex was there, ran into casey, and hit shamelessly on one of alex's drunk friends who i think was named chris. after 4 vodka tonics, we all decided to head down to the cha cha. nicole and i were out of the bar first and were greatly entertained by a guy wearing a cordoury blazer with long curly hair. after reaching cha cha, i started to talking to some random guy named john who was a cross between my friends lyle and jerry the guy from the matador/tonys. after his friend creeped out nicole, they left and i started to talking to some guy named ben, who was 28 but looked about 17. we took him home and he was funny. it was the way he talked i think. oh yeah and his crooked teeth.

after we got home i crashed on amberlys microfiber couch. i had the weirdest dream. basically i ran into jim at a miami vice party. he ran off when some russian girl came looking for him. i got a call on my cell phone from some security guard at a mall and jim had left his cell phone w/him w/instructions to call me. and jim had basically run off and was hiding at a hotel and i had to find him. i never did find him but it was a really really weird dream. sometimes i wish i didnt remember my dreams. they're a tad too weird.

well thats all for now. back to watching sex and the city and eating my mongolian tofu. yummmmy.

is it possible to feel prettier just by being some place else? when i got ready this morning in amberly's bathroom, i felt so beautiful. more beautiful than i have in ages. i didnt do anything different with my look. i even felt skinnier (which is hard to believe after how much i ate last night) and more confident. i have a suspicion this is going to go away when i leave. i dont want to go back to portland at all. i want to move home now. maybe i just feel this way because i'm happy.

so while driving home on wednesday night i realized how much i dislike portland. i've made my final decision. i am moving home in october. i will be moving to bellevue. at least for now. i'm so much happier when i'm here. i'm closer to my dad and to amberly. amberly is the only one whos been my real true friend in the past months. i love her. i need to be here. i need my lemony dome of goodness smashed more often. so the search has begun for an apt and a job in the bellevue area. i plan to leave portland the last week of october. my last day at work will be october 22nd. maybe i'll have a lil send off before i go but i doubt it. i'm sure i'll come to visit portland, but i dont know how often. theres one person there though that i'll always love, you know who you are. you will will always be important to me. i feel lucky to have you in my life as random as it is. so that was my life changing decision. i think i'll be much happier, no, i know i'll be much happier in the end. thats all for now... back to watching sex & the city on amberly's awesome couch.

ok i called into work again. the 4th day in a row. thankfully the screwed up attendance policy at work will only count this as 1 occurance. but yeah i did this so i could go home earlier. funny thing... i'll probably only end up leaving about an hour or two earlier considering i just got up an hour ago and i still havent packed.

rosie seems to enjoy sitting between the keyboard the monitor now. hmm... this is gonna be fun learning how to type around the cat. for those of you that know her... you know how stubborn she can be to get her to move. shes now hanging out of my window thanks to the lovely screen shes ripped from the top corner down. there goes my pet deposit.

ok on to packing and leaving for seattle. yay!

i put together my new computer and didnt screw up once! everything works! go me!

just like last week when i put together that damn bookcase i bought 3 months ago from ikea. i only screwed up once on that. i'm so good. heh.

yay for new fast computers!

yay for staying home and talking to bryan. i've missed you sooooo much! <3

yay for going to seattle tomorrow night!

i'm just in an all around decent mood. oh one more yay... yay for cops being on!

Why can't people be honest anymore? I find it rather sad that people feel a need to lie. The worse is when no one even needs to lie. It's just one of my pet peeves. Half the time people lie they do it to save feelings and it doesn't even need to be done in the first place. Well thats all on that... just a bit of ranting.

On other stuff... I haven't gone to work since last Friday. I figured I needed one more day to screw around. Actually today I'm going to do stuff to get ready to go to Seattle. I'm gonna go to Jiffy Lube. I'm only like 4000 miles over. Then I'm gonna finish laundry and pack. I've gotta look cute while I'm there. I can't wait to get up there. I need new workout shoes. So hopefully I can talk my dad into getting me some. Stella has destroyed mine.

So now that I'm fully awake, I shall shower and do stuff I need to do. That is all.

this party can be summed up in one picture...

So I finally got my apt clean enough to show what I've done with it since I moved here... Personally I think it looks awesome. Here are some before and after shots.

Living Room BEFORE...

and AFTER...

Dining Room... BEFORE

and AFTER...

Bedroom BEFORE...

and AFTER...


So yeah... thats my apt ... much better if you ask me. The new bed is freakin awesome. I've had the furniture for a while just haven't take the time to make it all pretty. Now.. even though its super hot still, I'm gonna try to get some sleep. I work a full day tomorrow then have about 25 people coming over for a "little" gettogether. Its gonna be so fun. I'm sure there will be pics from that.

i should be cleaning my apt but its way too hot. i'm gonna have to wait till later to do it. i did however start some laundry so thats a step in the right direction. besides that i'm just sitting on the couch watching fosters home for imaginary friends. yay for cartoons. oh yes and cinnamon honey grams. oh so good.

nothing much has been happening lately. working a lot still. my new shift started and i love it. its 9 to 730. so easy. i forgot how busy it can be during the day but it goes by quicker.

went to the oregon brew fest for a bit last weekend. that was fun. then went and saw batman for the 2nd time. its definately a good movie. still have about 5 movies on my list to see including charlie and the chocolate factory, march of the penguins, land of the dead, risky business (on the big screen), the new rob zombie one. i've heard its much better than house of a thousand corpses.

i've got to start looking for a new apt. i know the areas i want to live in. now i just have to go there and look. i guess i'll start that when i get back from seattle. i'll be going home the 10th to the 12th. its gonna be a blast. oh yeah... talked to one of my old roomies today and i guess hes coming back out here to visit in october. that'll be great. amberly and i will have to try to get him into some more of her clothes. theres nothing like a hairy beer gut sticking out from under a roxy tshirt. mmm... so hot. haha

ok back to cartoons .....